Protecting your energy is crucial to self-care, growth, and mental health. It starts with making a conscious choice to be more mindful of who to allow in your space.
This means setting boundaries around someone's access to your energy. If someone's energy is constantly negative toward themselves or others, be mindful of how much you let them into your realm. It can be draining and leave you without the motivation needed to complete your own tasks, physically or mentally. This doesn't mean being cold and uncaring, but it does mean not trying to fix other people's problems or worrying extensively about how they feel. This includes even those we feel most responsible for, like our family or friends. Everyone is responsible for their own peace, and despite what anyone thinks, you can't dispense it through money, gifts, favors, or even words of encouragement. The hard work must occur within to cultivate lasting authentic peace.
Be Intentional With Your Boundaries and Time
Developing a routine to begin and end your day is a great way to acquire this. Instead of waking up and just reacting to whatever is thrown your way before you've had time to mentally prepare for the day, set a time and place for you to spend time alone to reflect.
No media — including your phone, TV, tablet, radio, etc. — during or before the morning routine, or after the evening routine. Going for a walk or other outdoor activities are great tools for this, which is good for your mind and body. This is also a perfect time to write in a journal, come up with jokes, do a puzzle, or doodle. Let your mind wander about things and new possibilities — like a trip you'd love to make, no matter how unlikely it may seem.
Same for the evening: before your day ends, take a few moments to quietly sit with yourself. This would ideally be after your day's work is done and you're settling in to rest. Protect these times. Carve out time that you can maintain and let others know about your new routine so they can be mindful and not interrupt you, and can assist in taking care of other tasks if needed. People can't respect your new intentions if you don't share them, so be sure to make it clear how important these new routines are to you. Show others — and yourself — that your new intentions are important by following through.
Take Note of When You Feel Drained, and When You Feel Energized
If someone's conversations or online posts are always drama-related, encompass a victim's mentality, or just generally don't make you feel good, you have no obligation to allow them to disrupt your peace. Be mindful of how much of their BS makes it into your space, and if once you've defined your boundaries clearly and they don't respect it, you may need to consider cutting ties. However, in most cases, if you make your intentions known and make an effort to maintain them consistently — because we teach people how to treat us through our actions, not just words — people eventually get the point that you mean business.
You have to keep from getting wrapped up in their problems, and definitely not try to solve it for them. If you did that, you'd be silently telling them you don't believe they are capable of handling it themselves, and at the same time robbing them of the growth that would come from doing it themselves — which just leaves you as the person they always run to when they have issues.
Even following celebrities on social media or watching the news may be draining. This includes people whom you admire for certain skills, but seeing them constantly post only about how hot they look or what they own — it's not helping your cause and is a distraction, so they're out. However, if they've got a positive vibe and teach how you too can achieve what they have with hard work, that is gold.
Give Yourself Space and Time to Respond
This means allowing yourself to respond instead of react at a time when it's appropriate for you. Make yourself available when it's right for you. You are setting a boundary to be respected. You will feel less anxiety or pressure to respond with an arbitrary answer, and you will have a much more cohesive and meaningful response when you give a little time to think before you answer.
However, the silent treatment is a toxic behavior that may be tempting to utilize, but don't — because the only person you're hurting is yourself. If there is a difficult conversation to be had, just do it. Otherwise, you're not really ever going to get what you want because you haven't stated it, and everyone is just going to be resentful and misunderstood. Then every time you need to interact with that person there will be a lingering tension.
Transforming Your Own Energy Is a Life Skill
Are you constantly complaining or venting to others? Is it to the same small group of people? Dealing with tough emotions is critical and they should be shared, but in the appropriate way — not dumping it all on the same people over and over. People will learn to avoid you to avoid your negative energy. Having a variety of outlets for your real issues is important, and it's up to you to create those pathways.
Your kids should never be your go-to for venting or discussing your personal issues. This puts them in a bad space and can severely damage their peace and how they function in their own relationships.
Also, the most important conversation you have is the one with yourself, so take care in the words you choose. This is part of manifestation, good or bad. It takes effort to find the positive, but this doesn't mean faking positive energy with toxic clichés like "you've got this" and "hang in there" — which is saying a whole lot of nothing and simply glazes over all the hard work that needs to be put in.
This Method Will Push Away Those Who Are Not Meant for You
This may mean the end of personal or business relationships, which is necessary for your continued growth and evolution. You don't have to hate or resent them to choose to not continue to engage with them. There are ways to show love and compassion and maintain your inner peace and preserve your energy.
For instance, if someone is constantly dumping their drama on you and it's destroying your peace, you can convey your support by stating that when they're ready to face their problems, you'll be there to support them in their journey by encouraging good habits — but you can't be their personal therapist because it weighs on you too much.
On the flip side, there are some people that will increase your energy. Take note, and focus on bringing those types of people into your inner circle. These are people who will be genuinely happy for you when you succeed instead of being jealous, and will acknowledge your pain and maybe share their own, but will not try to solve your problems for you or doubt your capabilities. Surround yourself with those who promote your self-growth and encourage your bravery for failing instead of quitting, and will cheer you on as you get back up again.
However, energy drainers (aka haters) will try to trigger your insecurities, undermine your efforts or reputation to your face and/or behind your back, or more relevant now — in comments online.
Misery Loves Company
If you're surrounded by negative people, you need to consider the fact that you're behaving just like them and you're not the exception — and also need some major personal boundary maintenance. The good news is you're in control and can change with every choice you make moving forward.
Once you change your energy and start protecting it, those people will start to disappear and you will be in a better position to attract and accept those with a higher and positive energy. It won't be easy — you'll have to have a lot of inner reflection and sometimes difficult conversations, but it is required of you to put in the work to help develop your peace. No one can do this for you. The change and constant effort must come from within.
You choose your actions, thoughts, and future.
Protect your energy like your life depends on it, because it literally does. Energy is life.